he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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