I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
