u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
