we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
