I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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