We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't trust your balls anymore.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize