no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Operation Purity has been aborted
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
