I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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