just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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