He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
