He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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