my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
