I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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