Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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