Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
