You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
