i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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