You're completely useless in the revolution.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
