So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
