I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
