Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
