I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
