so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
