it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
