I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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