In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
