I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
