I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
