I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We are two peas in an std pod
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
