he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
