I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize