My brain says no but my pants say off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
