he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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