You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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