There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
