They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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