glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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