Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
