before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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