Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
