Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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