So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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