How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
