she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
