I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
