You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
