You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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