Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
