I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You ate ashes out of my bong
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
