yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize