Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
