just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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