Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
