Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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