it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize