Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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