Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
