i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
