I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
